“Why do I feel so lonely?” is a question I asked myself a lot.
I could be in a room full of people and still fee alone. In fact, that’s when I felt the most alone.
I felt no one understood the sadness, fear, and anxiety I struggled with. Fear of rejection kept me from letting people really see me.
So, what do you do when being with people makes you feel even more alone? It’d be so easy to retreat and just spend your life isolated, letting your fear and anxiety hold you back from any kind of happiness.
Healing did not come overnight for me, but one truth helped me keep moving forward.
That truth was that no matter how alone I felt, Jesus was always with me. He understood everything I felt, everything I had gone through, and He reminded me through His Word that He would never leave me nor forsake me.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV
I remember years ago, a woman at a church I visited talked about the question, why do I feel so lonely? She spoke of feeling alone after her husband had passed away, and how overcame that by asking Jesus to go with her wherever she went. She explained that she came to a place where she could go to dinner, and she felt Him with her. It was as if they were going to dinner together.
I couldn’t fathom what she was talking about at the time. The loneliness I felt was the only thing I could see, and Jesus had not become that real to me.
But she prayed for me. And while it didn’t happen overnight, Jesus became more real in my life, to the point that even when I was alone, I knew He was with me.
You can ask Jesus to make Himself real to you, and over a period of time He will do just that.
Finding Comfort
A lot of the reason I felt alone was because of the hurt and pain I held inside. As Jesus made himself more real to me, I noticed that His promises in the Word also became more real.
One of my favorites is:
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 147:3 NIV
That is a promise you can count on. If you will bring your brokenness to Jesus and thank Him that He heals the brokenhearted, He will make good on His promise as long as you continue to let Him work in your life.
We all Need People
I knew that I needed people in my life, yet, coming from a dysfunctional background, I was attracted to more dysfunctional people, which continued the cycle of hurt and left me feeling I couldn’t trust anyone.
Yet, you can ask the Lord to lead you to healthy people. It was when I began to get around healthy people and see how different they were that I started to heal from unhealthy patterns and relationships at first.
Ask the Lord to put people in your life that you can trust, and to give you a discernment about your relationships.
We all need Jesus and His help in our lives, and that of course, should be our priority; but we are also made to be in community.
I know that word community can be a scary thing when you’ve been hurt. But remember, you’re allowed to take it one step at a time, Jesus will be with you the entire time, and He will never fail you.
Why do I feel so lonely?
Why do I feel so lonely?
It’s a question many of us having been asking lately. And the answer comes in various forms as to why. For me, it was because of my background of abuse and fear of letting anyone in.
Yet, no matter the reason, you don’t have to stay lonely.
First, ask Jesus to make Himself so real to you that you can go to dinner with Him, like the woman I met years ago. Then, ask for His comfort and healing in your life. Finally, ask the Lord to put people in your life that He has chosen for you, and to give you discernment in your relationships.
Today, choose one of the things listed above, and take one small step to overcome the loneliness you feel. I am praying that Jesus will make Himself real to you, comfort you, and that He puts healthy people around you.
Prayer
Father God, I lift up the loneliness I feel in my heart to you. I ask that you make yourself real to me, so real that I could go to dinner with You and feel Your presence with me. I also ask, Father, that you would begin to heal the root of my loneliness. You know exactly what that is, so I pray for your comfort in that area, and that you would heal my broken heart. Lord, you say that you are the healer of the broken, but you also say that you put the lonely in families (See Psalm 68:6). So, Lord, I pray for that family of people around me that you’ve chosen, whether they be blood or not. Help me Lord, to overcome this loneliness, in Jesus’ mighty name, amen.
