Deep down, I knew, but I didn’t want to deal with it; it was just too painful.
I sat on the floor next to my bed, the Bible on my lap, reading in Matthew; and as I read, the word father, used several times in the passage, jumped off the page at me.
I remember the tears that slid down my face that day.
Then came the big whammy. We had had a spiritual father in our lives who suddenly had to leave. I struggled with the fact that God finally gave me a spiritual dad and took him away so quickly. (more details in another post)
After serving at my first retreat without him, I snuck downstairs in the quiet of the morning, still hurting because of it.
That’s when I heard God whisper, “I have been your God, but I would really like to be your Father.”
Oh, the tears that came that day. I knew in my head, but not yet in my heart, that God was my Daddy. He was touching a wound deep within my soul, bringing it to the surface so He could heal.
So many women, including myself, have struggled with seeing God as their Father. Either our fathers were not there, were the abusers, or someone put in the place of father abused that position in our lives.
God knows your broken heart, dear sister, He knows what you have gone through and what you struggle with. He sees your tears, and He wants you to know that you’ve never walked alone.
You have a Daddy, a Father, a Papa, an Abba, who loves you so very much and cares so much for you.
Next week will be the beginning of a series on God as our Father. I pray that as we go on this journey, you would allow God to touch the wounds in your soul, to bring them to the surface, and that you would allow Him to heal your broken heart.
Love,
Carolyn
Lord, I’m Broken: A 90-Day Devotional is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold online.
photo credit encasey
