That sinking feeling in your stomach. That feeling of disappointment that lingers on and on. The tears that come, and then the anger. Anger that what you expected from someone else did not come. You wanted to be understood. You wanted to be accepted. Whatever it may have been, you expected something from someone and they failed miserably.
When you have suffered abuse of any kind, it leaves a hole within you. Where you should have been loved, nurtured and cared for, the opposite has happened. Often you are left lonely, afraid and wanting.
Sometimes you don’t even realize you’ve been seeking something or someone, trying to fill that hole within you until the disappointment is overwhelming.
Don’t get me wrong, we do need other people. The Bible says we are to meet together to encourage and exhort one another, and to be with people of like mind is good for the soul. Also, when we are married, we are supposed to share, to give and take. God has established healthy relationships and fellowship with others.
What I’m talking about is when you have been wounded so badly, you just want someone to love you, whether that relationship is healthy or not; when you seek fulfillment or validation from things, titles or other people. What I’m talking about is when you try to fill that hole within your own way.
God can send people to love you and give you a word or meet a need at a certain time, and it is wonderful when that happens. But seeking that from people all the time will only leave you disappointed.
There is one person who will always be there. One person who always picks up when you call, and is never too busy. There is but one person who never tires of hearing your story and your pain again and again. He will comfort you, guide you, love you and show you the way out of that pain. Only God can do this for you. Other people can point the way, but they cannot be your all in all.
So how do you come into alignment with God and break this pattern of relying on others to meet your needs?
Ask Forgiveness
God made you. He saw what happened to you and knows the hole that’s been left in you. He made your emotions and He understands you completely. He knows why you do this more than you do. Instead of trying to figure yourself out or beating yourself up for falling again, simply ask God to forgive you and to help you continue to seek Him.
Father God, I ask your forgiveness for seeking to be filled by positions, by titles, by things, and by seeking fulfillment from others. I also choose to forgive myself for falling into this pattern, and I receive your forgiveness now, in Jesus name.
Release those who have failed you
I forgive those who did not live up to the expectations I had of them. I especially forgive those who held titles of mother, father, family, husband, friend, and child. I now release these people from meeting my needs and I break the expectations I placed on them. I renounce the authority I gave them in my life to define my value by how they treated me.
Invite the Father In
And now, Father God, I invite you in to fulfill the needs within me. I surrender those places in my heart, emotions and mind to you, and I place them into your hands. I ask that you help me to rest in you, to change my habits of seeking things from others, and seek them from you instead. Make yourself real to me, Father God, and help me to realize that you can use other people to bless me, but that those blessings ultimately come from you. Help me to seek you, instead of people, and help me to learn how to trust you and know you as a kind, loving father who values me tremendously.
In Jesus name, amen.
Now watch, and see what God does in you!
In His love,
Carolyn
© Carolyn Rice 2018
