The pastor called people to come to the altar for prayer, and  I was so moved in my heart I practically ran forward.

When he got to me,  he placed his hand on my head and prayed. I don’t remember his whole prayer, but something he said three times over me has stuck with me for years.

“God is not angry. God is not angry. God is not angry!”

Only when I began to face the past did God show me the meaning of that Pastor’s words.

I grew up with angry people.

One look from them and the fear would rise up within me, coming up from the pit of my stomach and rising to my throat, as if it was coming up to choke the life out of me; the only way to get rid of it was to avoid the anger of the person who caused it to begin.

I lived my life in fear. I let people manipulate me and control me with their anger. I was taught that it was not ok to have boundaries, and if I even tried, I would meet with their wrath.

Once I allowed myself to face the past,  the Lord showed me that He was not angry with me. He did not want me controlled by anger or fear, but to live free, following the leading of the Holy Spirit.

He even sent me someone who would be an example for me of a Father’s love.

If you have struggled with fear of other people’s anger, as I did, there are a few things I’d like to share with you that helped me overcome:

Realize the problem

• Knowing that you have a fear of anger is one of the first steps to overcoming it.

Check in with God regularly.

•  At times You may feel that fear rising within your stomach, feeling like it’s going to overtake you. Don’t give in to it.
• Get down on your knees in prayer and give that fear up to God. Tell him you want to be led by his spirit instead of fear, and ask Him to help you overcome.
• Then listen for His wisdom.

Ask For His Healing.

• Lift yourself up to God and place yourself in His hands.
• Give Him permission to work in your life.

And last but not least, if you are in an abusive situation please get help. Go to a mental health professional, church leader or law enforcement officer. God has not called you to stay in an abusive situation.

You may feel that this fear is too big to overcome, but remember, nothing is impossible with God. It may not happen overnight. Celebrate the small victories along the way. Keep walking with the Lord, giving him that fear daily, hourly, minute by minute if needed.

He will take it, and He will never leave you, for He is faithful.

Be Strong and courageous. Do not be afraid of terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you, he will never leave you nor forsake you. ~ Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV

Love,

Carolyn

Lord, I’m Broken is now available wherever books are sold online.

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